Red Clown
by 666BloodyHell666
Summary: Lisbon gets herself injured, causing Jane to finally snap and let out his dark side
1. Chapter 1

A/N: edited.

Pain, that's all I felt, was pain; my whole body was screaming at me to stops moving, but I had too. I had to keep walking, keep moving.

How did this happen to me?

Oh yes, dead body found behind a hospital and then when we started to dig deeper (it wasn't that deep, since they had only been on the case for less than 3 hours) more dead bodies; all of them tortured to death. All of them female and blond. It was obvious now that I think of it, the man who owned the hospital(s)… Mr. Millen was taking sick blond woman and torturing them, slowly killing them at his house.

I should have called for backup when I went to his home alone for the second time today, but I had heard the hallow thumb come from some of the floorboards that I walked across, the first time I was there with Cho and I just couldn't get that feeling out of my mind that he was the one. Besides Jane has told me many times to go with my gut feeling and speaking of Jane, that damned bastard too was busy trying to find Lorelei today so my team was on their own. I should have hit him.

Now that I thinking about it... I totally pulled a Jane; good job Lisbon, let's think like Jane and do everything alone. Now who's the hypocrite? You're so stupid! Of course Mr. Millen would notice your disappearance, of course he'd look in the one spot he was trying to hide and course he'd be pretty damned pissed off when he sees that you've released the two girls from their prisons and allowed them escape (with your cellphone, they needed to call the team and tell them what was going on)

Mr. Millen had done a great number on me… took my gun, beat me pretty damn good and then shoot me in the shoulder; just below where O'Loughlin shot me. Before picking me up and throwing me into the trunk of his car. I was happy that I got a few good hits on him. Let's see him try to hid the black eye and fat lip I gave him.

He drove for what felt like hours before I found the safety hatch that opened the trunk and then jumped out of the car... Yeah good one Teresa, jump out of a moving vehicle and run that won't hurt.

After I laid on the road for a few seconds, catching my breath and fought off the blackness that was threatening to take over my mind. I stood up and I just ran in a random direction, of course I couldn't run for a long period of time like I could if I wasn't injured, but I hoped Millen didn't come after me.

God please… I pray to the, please guide me to someone safe. I don't care who it is, just have them be a safe place to be….. Please, before I pass out from this pain. I swear I'll take Van Pelt out on the field more often, I'll be less harsh to Jane. Come on please help me…. Someone please help me.

"Pepper…PEPPER!?" I looked up from the ground that I was focusing on to find myself standing at the edge of the carnival…. The carnival that held Pete, Sam and Daisy; I missed Daisy

…..and there in front of me was Sam; eyed wide with shock and worry.

"Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that stupid name." I mumble out. What were the chances of stumbling into the carnival anyway? I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I felt my knees finally buckle and the pain take my conscious away. "Please don't take me to the hospital, don't call Jane" Was the only thing I remember saying before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Edited! sorry for the mistakes

I woke up the noise of pots and pans clanging together. Slowly I opened my eyes and found myself looking up at the ceiling of a trailer, before turning my head in the direction of the noise. From the way I was laying in this bed I could see Sam; she was wearing that yellow dress she had the first day we met. She was standing at the sink washing dishes as she waiting for me to wake.

I ignored the pain that rushed through my body like a flood as I slowly got up. My shoulder was screaming at me to stop moving even though my arm was in a sling so it wasn't moving. I walked out of the little bedroom and into the kitchen/dining and living space of the trailer. My movements alerted Sam to me being up and awake.

"Pepper, you should be laying down." She said to me as she turned, putting her hands on her hips and looking at me like a mother would her child who was just caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"I should be lying down, but it's your bed, and I don't want to be a burden. Ummn how long was I out for by the way? And do you have a phone? I need to call my team and tell them what happened."

"Now hold on there Pep. What the hell happened to you, and why didn't you want to go to the hospital... And why not call Jane?" she was using a tone that told me I wasn't going to be able to get anywhere without telling her what she wanted, and of course I couldn't lie, these people would be able to tell.

Taking a deep breath I sat down at the table and did my best to not let the pain make my dizzy. "I'm like this because I angered a murderer, as for the hospital bit; the guy owns over half of the hospitals in Sacramento. I don't know which ones he owns and I prefer to live as long as possible. I don't know what could happen to me if I went to one of his. And I'll call Jane as soon as I call my team." I told her as she handed me a cup of tea, and I took the time to listen to my surroundings. I could hear the carnival roaring with life. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. "I take it I'd have to pay to see Daisy?"

Sam threw her head back and laughed, "With what you've been through I'd let you see that crazy girl for free." She walked across the trailer and grabbed a phone before tossing it to me. "Make your calls, and rest I have to go back to my job. Don't do anything too stupid Pepper." She said as she walked out of the trailer.

As soon as she left I called Cho. He wasn't happy with me but I could tell he was relieved. He told me about the Jane getting the phone call from the girls I set free (they must have used the 'last dialed' option since Jane was the last person I talked to before going to Mr. Millen's house, but then again he was also the person on my speed dial along with being first on my contact list). Then he called the team and they all went to Millen's house and found my blood on the ground, poor grace nearly had a panic attack. Cho then told me that they have been looking for me and Mr. Millen since then and that I've been missing for 24 hours. I said thank you to him before hanging up; I didn't tell him where I was. I called Jane.

To say he was upset would be like saying that polar bears where harmless. He was relieved to hear that I was alive and he was driving around looking for me like the rest of the team, which was a lie, he was probably in the bullpen or his attic get away. His voice was deadly calm. The type of calmness that he had when he was faking his break down and had put the suspect in a coffin and buried him, and that calmness scared me.

Quickly told him where I was and he laughed... He laughed but it was a bitter laugh before he told me he was going to get me.

After I hung up I felt dread start to creep into me. I felt that something wasn't right and that I should be afraid, afraid of Jane.


	3. Chapter 3

She was angry at him, he knew that, but it didn't mean she could hang up on him. He was out following a lead he got on Lorelei's whereabouts when Lisbon called him about a new case. He knew he should have said "I'll be there in 30 minutes, I'm just checking up on this lead." But he what he said was "I'm driving to a potential lead on Lorelei." She didn't even let him finish his sentence before hanging up on him, yes he felt a bit guilty and he should have known by now that Lorelei was something that set Lisbon off.

Jane wasn't stupid, he was a mentalist and knew how to read people, and Lisbon was as transparent and honest as they come. He had watched her feelings for him move from friendship to love throughout the years. He would be lying if he said he didn't love her, but Jane was a broken man, he couldn't be the same person as he was with Angela. So he thought he would keep the love to himself, he wasn't going to let it out. He couldn't let it out.

But unfortunately the powers that controlled the universe did not agree with his decision

Two hours after her call, Lisbon called him again. He smiled as he answered the phone; she was probably calling to say sorry and grudgingly ask him to come help out on this case. His smile fell from his face when it wasn't Lisbon's voice on the phone but another woman's. He listened to her as she told him about the brunette that had helped saved her and the other woman she was with. He felt his jaw clench, and his blood run freeze as this woman told him that said brunette had stayed behind to keep the man who trapped them at bay as they ran for it. After he hung up he called Cho, and learned that Lisbon was alone, she was supposed to go check out a widower but from what they just learned she had gone to the murderer's- no more like the _crazy_ _serial killer's_ home, without telling anyone and without back up.

-Red Clown-

his control on his emotions were slipping as he sat there on his couch in the Bullpen. The other members of the team where out searching for Mr. Millen and Lisbon while he sat there, brooding over a cup of tea. Sat there trying to regain his control. He couldn't let himself lose it. It would be ugly if he lost it. They'd probably send him back to the mental intuition if he did.

It was hitting 24 hours now and not a word from his Lisbon; he was going to kill someone very _very _soon if he didn't get any new information other than that they found Lisbon's blood , a shell casing and her gun in the makeshift torture chamber below that damned sick Millen's house.

Jane had been the first person to get to the house. _He_ had gone down those steps and saw the blood and when he saw it he had felt his heart stop, felt his breath hitch. He couldn't lose her; not now, not after everything they've been through. Grace was the second person to enter the room, she let out a gasp before muttering 'Oh my god' her idol was injured and missing, He was glad Rigsby was there to comfort her because he wasn't going to be able to. Cho was able to keep up his stoic face and took leadership of the team without blinking an eye, but the sight and the situation did affect him, Jane noticed Cho's tension and simply walked out of the house and drove back to the CBI. He felt his restrains breaking.

Suddenly just after the 24 hour mark his phone rang; the number that flashed wasn't one he knew, but answered it. It could be his Lisbon…

It was his Lisbon (He was always right).

She was alive and he felt his heart beat again, felt that he could breathe.

As they talked he made sure his voice was even, was calm and didn't allow any emotions come through as they talked. He was boiling with rage and relief at the same time it was an odd combination of feelings.

Jane was relieved that his Lisbon alive, but angry… he was angry that she had done something so stupid that it put her life in danger, and when he got to the carnival he was going to have a nice long chat with his Lisbon.


	4. Chapter 4

Jane drove for an hour before he reached the Carnival; by the time he got there he was boiling with rage. The smile he put on his face was threatening to slip off when he was talking to Pete. He didn't get any details on Lisbon's health but he did learn that she spent some time with Daisy. And that at least brightened his mood a bit.

Lisbon was a city girl and probably never owned a pet. Heck one time she asked him if a fawn bit when one walked between them. At that time he almost broke out in uncontrollable laughter when she snapped at him saying she could have been killed by it. And yet she was able to form a bond with an elephant; something that could crush her, break her neck even, within a second. Guess daisy liked her, then again Daisy was always good at judging character, and compared to the people Daisy lived with Lisbon was a saint… oh Saint Teresa.

He was told that she was most likely outside of Sam's trailer, and he made his way there, doing his best to keep himself from running, doing his best to contain the emotions that he was just barely containing.

There she was curled up in a lawn chair, wearing a deep blue tank top and sweat shorts a bag full of clothes was on the ground beside the chair; probably hers. Her hair was pulled back into a sloppy bun and damp, meaning she had showered which was good since she was going to the hospital as soon as possible and wouldn't be able to shower for a while. Lisbon was sitting there, leaning back in the lawn chair dozing off, she didn't even notice him.

He felt his anger melt away as he studied her more. There was a bruise under her right eye, a fat lip and deep bruising around her neck. He could see angry hand prints on her wrists, and there was a large deep purple bruise on her left leg, but what really took his anger what nearly made him fell to his knees was the bandage on her shoulder, there was blood on it so it hasn't really stopped bleeding and her arm was in a sling, making sure to not cause her any more pain.

O'Loughlin has shot her there; that fucker. Jane could remember that day in full detail. He remembered telling her that Red John's man was O'Loughlin then the gun shots before he heard her grunt out in pain and a thud as she hit the floor. He could still call back that feeling of fear and dread that shot through him like he was being put on fire. He had strained his ears trying to hear if Lisbon was alive. He could hear Van Pelt and O'Loughlin talking but couldn't hear what they were saying. Then Lisbon made a noise and more gun shots where heard. There was Hightower's voice as he heard one of her children. He heard the clicking of her shoes as she walked over Lisbon to her children; that had made him unhappy that no one seemed to be calling Lisbon's name or talking to her.

Jane couldn't be quiet anymore and started to call for her, making sure she was alive; she _had_ to be alive. He listening to her talk giving her his full attention, making sure it never faded or slurred for a second. It was when she told him she'd be OK that he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. At that point in time he told her to get the phone that O'Loughlin had. God he felt like such an asshole thinking about it. He made her crawl across the floor injured for him. He made her suffer more pain for his selfish need for revenge, and then shot a man in cold blood when he knew it would cause her more pain.

Jane didn't know the extent of her injuries until he was being booked into the jail. LaRoche had been there and told him that she was in surgery, and that a few months of physical therapy would be all she needed before going back to work full force(1). He felt the wave of relief wash over him, and was content to rot in jail for the rest of his life; she was OK.

-First-

"Jane?" Lisbon's voice brought him out of his memories.

"Lisbon, let's get you to a hospital"

"NO! I don't know which hospitals Mr. Millen owns, I'm not taking a chance." She said as she slowly got out of the chair. Jane then gently guided her towards the car.

"You don't have a choice Lisbon, and if you didn't want to take a change than you shouldn't have gone to his place without back up in the first place. I have never thought you'd do something this stupid." Ah, now he could feel his anger come back.

"You're seriously going to talk to me about this? YOU?!"

"Don't you even start with me, Lisbon. You should have called for Cho or Rigsby."

"Oh I will start with you Mr. Hypocrite. How many times have you gone off and gotten yourself in trouble? How many times have I begged you to tell me what's going on and to let me help you? How many times Jane?!"

"For one you are not me Lisbon, you are not only responsible for yourself but for a team also and as a leader you should lead by example. Don't look at me like that, and don't roll your eyes." He snapped at her, she was starting to push her luck with his already thinned patience. If she didn't stop soon then he'd use his sleeping pills(2).

"Don't tell me what to do Jane, and have you guys found Mr. Millen?" Typical Lisbon; all work and worry.

"No they're still looking for him, and I will tell you what to do when you're not in your right mind."

"I'm always in the right mind Jane. It's you who isn't in it." Lisbon was met by silence after her snide remark. She turned her face to look at him. Jane was looking straight ahead, it was clear that he was in deep thought but what he was thinking about Lisbon had no idea. She just didn't like the look in his eyes; it was a Red John look and it scared her.

She was pretty sure Mr. Millen had nothing to do with Red John so why was his eyes so cold and crazy? Was it because she refused to go to the hospital? He was thinking of ways to trick her into going there? That had to be it, that's why he had that look in his eyes…right? Yes let's go with that… Well better not let him get too far in his planning.

Lisbon let out a long sigh. The things she does to keep him sane and happy.

"OK fine we'll go to the hospital."

"Oh you going to the hospital was never a question."

"What were you thinking about then? I mean you looked as if Red John was involved. He's not is he?" she was worried now

"No, Red John has nothing to do with this, I was thinking of Mr. Millen and his victims. I read the file while waiting for news on you." It wasn't the full truth, but she didn't need to know that he was thinking of ways to slowly torture this Millen guy. Oh he was going to find this guy and kill him as slowly as possible and then hide the body, he'd be missing forever.

A smile broke out on Jane's face as his thoughts continued to get darker while gently making sure Lisbon got into the car. Careful not to put her in any more pain then what she was already feeling. He was going to enjoy every scream that came from Mr. Millen's mouth… that man was going to wish he never talked to Lisbon let along touch her. No one hurt what was his.

-First-

(1) I think LaRoche would have booked Jane in or been there. As much as I love the Team I think they'd be there for Lisbon at the hospital, and not with Jane.

(2) Jane has problems sleeping; we all know this so I'm pretty sure he has sleeping pills and a lot of different ones that have been given to him throughout the years.

If there is any spelling or grammar mistakes please tell me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning! **this story is rated M for a reason. This chapter is a bit gory and twisted

He found Mr. Millen easily, the man wasn't hard to find when you knew what and who you were looking for, and now he was in a soundproof, underground room in the middle of the desert tied to a chair as Jane stood there leaning against the wall looking at him. Mr. Millen looked into the eyes of his capture and saw nothing but the eyes of a true monster.

-First-

Lisbon had passed out on the way to the hospital, the pain and blood loss had finally gotten to her. At the hospital he called Cho, he needed Cho to stay at the hospital and watch over Lisbon. She had made a good point earlier saying that Mr. Millen was still at large and going to a hospital could be fatal if the said man owned it, but Jane was good at guessing and he found a place that wasn't owned by the man that was on top of his 'to kill list'.

After leaving the hospital Jane went to Headquarters and talked to Rigsby and Van Pelt; he needed all the information they had to find Mr. Millen. Of course he put in his own little thoughts that would slightly mislead them. He made sure that the misleads where small and obvious miscalculations that anyone reviewing the case would look over the evidence because when this was all said and over he couldn't have anyone question him and find out the truth especially Lisbon.

Then all three left the building and went on their separate ways; they had over 20 leads to check.

-First-

Jane found Mr. Millen in Vegas and slipped some drugs into the man's drink, from there he followed the man outside into the parking lot, being mindful of the cameras Jane easily manipulated the idiot into his luxury car and then took the keys and drove the man to a bunker.

Jane had found this bunker when he got out of the mental institution. He had drove around the desert between California and Nevada for a week before finally deciding that he was going to go through with his plan for revenge and not take his life instead. To Jane it had been a pleasant surprise and throughout the years he had filled the room with certain tools and dreamt of taking Red John there to slowly kill him. But now it wasn't Red John's blood that was going to be spilled on the concrete floor. No Mr. Millen here was going to be his first victim and the voice in his head told him that he wasn't going to be the last.

It really wasn't his fault that Mr. Millen was going to be the first person he personally killed. Nope it was Mr. Millen's fault, he shouldn't have hurt what was his and anyone else who hurt her was going to suffer the same fate regardless of being family, friend, victim or suspect.

-First-

He was now walking around the room; walking circles around him, and the only noise was the sound of his shoes. Then the footsteps stopped right behind him.

"Tsk, Mr. Millen I figured you'd be a little bit harder to find. After all you did injure a cop, and that has the whole state of California in an uproar." The man's voice was deadly a calm, the undertone was ice.

"You should have tried to leave the country or at least put up a better struggle, but then again the way you commit your crimes show me that you're really just a fool." The man started to walk around him again.

"You know I wouldn't have done anything to you other than help get you captured by the police. I mean stealing sick women from the hospital and keeping them for yourself then hurting and killing them is really disgusting; you needed to be caught." He stopped in front of him now and pulled off the tape that was covering his mouth before walking over to the corner of the room where a trolley was. The man's back was turned to him and he watched him pick up something, examine it and then put it back.

"But now you leave me no choice but to punish you. Really Mr. Millen you shouldn't have touch what was mine"

"Y-ou mean th-the brunet?! U-ummn Agent Lis something... look I'm sorry! I-I'll give you as much money was you want, ju-sut llllet me g-go!" The chuckle that came from the man sent shivered down his spine.

Jane turned around and walked over to Mr. Millen; gently placing his hand on Millen's left hand.

"Oh how naïve. Do you honestly think I'll let you off the hook after you laid a hand on her?" He grabbed Millen's pinky figure and slowly started to bend it.

"I'm going to make sure you beg for death" and with one swift movement he broke Millen's pinky. Jane relished in the scream that came from the man's mouth, it felt so good to hear the man in pain.

"Please… Please I-I'll do whatever you ask! I-I 'm ssssor" the sound of another bone breaking and a scream filled the room; same hand, ring finger.

"I am going to break every finger Mr. Millen. Do you want to know why?" Millen shook his head, trying to hold back the tears that were starting to form. A chuckle.

"Well I'm going to tell you anyway: it's because you hurt her with these hands." Screams filled the room.

-First-

Breaking every finger hand been the easy part, it had been fun randomly picking a finger or getting Millen to pick a finger to break sometimes he even broke a finger twice.

The man's screams sounded like heaven when he thought about the pain Lisbon had been in. Jane walked over to the trolley and picked up one of the knives that were laid out before turning around and stalking back towards Mr. Millen.

"Now then…Beg" He slowly cut Millen's knuckles. It was a slow but deep cut making sure the knife scraped across the bone. He smiled at the hoarse scream.

"I said beg, not scream." Another deep slow cut on the other hand.

"I'M SORRY! PLEASE STOP!" Another cut but this one on the arm, this time shallow but still slow.

"PLEASE JUST LET ME GO. I'LL CHANGE! I-I WON'T HURT ANYO-" The scream of pain took over the begging. More cuts all shallow, let him scream. Now it was time to move away from the arms.

"_Beg_" Slow deep cut on the jaw.

"PLEASE! PLEASE I BEG YOU! I BEG YOU TO LET ME GO!" More deep to the bone cuts on the face. Oh lets slowly take out his left eye… Yes more screaming, more cutting.

"_Beg!_"

"PLEASE….PLEASE JUST KILL ME!" Ah that's it. Time to take a step back, and bend to eye level; let him see his end in my eyes.

"What was that Mr. Millen? I didn't hear you."

"Kill me… please just kill me."

"Of course if that is what you wish for… You do wish for death don't you?"

"Yes"

Jane stood up and walked over to the trolley, bending down he grabbed the blanket that was underneath it and then walked back to him.

"Yes I will grant it to you." He wrapped the blanket around Millen tightly and was pleased that it was large enough to cover him from head to toe.

"I know you can hear me still Mr. Millen…don't worry I won't let you suffocate to death. No you don't deserve that." Jane picked up a lighter and started to light the bottom of the blanket before stepping back to watch it burn; closing his eyes Jane listened to Millen's screams, he stayed there until the fire died. Then he cleaned up his mess before putting the remains of Mr. Millen in a box and putting them six feet underground.

The Sun was down and the stars were out to shine as the air around him cooled when he finally finished. His cellphone went off; looking at the ID he smiled.

"Hello Rigsby, did you get anything?" Time to return to the team, walking over to his car Jane pulled out another suit to change into. He had been careful to not get any blood on him and even changed his shoes (the blood soaked ones were back in the trolley) but it was better to be careful.

"Nah man, I didn't find anything. Nor did Grace."

"Huh, and I guess you're calling to see if I found Mr. Millen. Well sorry to disappoint but I got nothing either."

"Really, you got nothing?"

"You don't have to rub it in by repeating what I said"

"Oh sorry man, so I guess we have to call it a nigh then?"

"You guys can call it a night; I'm still going to look. I have a few more hunches to check out. By the way have you heard anything about Lisbon?"

"Oh yeah, well she had to have surgery to get the bullet out of her, and a few bags of blood, but other than that she's fine. Cho said he called you but your phone was off."

"Oh it wasn't off, the battery died. Well thank you for the information, I'll drop by the hospital later."

"Night then, don't go all crazy and do stuff on your own. _We'll _find this asshole." A smile came to his face.

"Yes we will. Night Rigsby." Hanging up Jane changed his clothes and drove away from the bunker. He'll stay in a motel tonight and visit Lisbon later; he needed to get her some gifts.

* * *

AN: if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

Jane found himself in a very high end jewellery store looking at rings. He didn't know how he got there since his mind was clouded with thoughts of Lisbon and the pain she must be in, guess his subconscious was telling him something and he had to agree with it. Yes Red John is still out there, still wanted to play mind games, and Red John knew of Lisbon and his feelings, why else would the bastard ask for her head. So why hide it if everyone knew or suspected that he and Lisbon loved each other. Heck, he'd only been working for the CBI for three weeks when the rumors of Lisbon sleeping with him started.

A smile came to his face when he saw the perfect ring; it was simple and elegant just like Lisbon. Buying the ring was the easy part; waiting for the right moment to ask her was the hard part. He knew now wasn't the time. No today he was giving her flowers, not roses mind you, those were too cliché for his liking and red really wasn't his favorite colour at the moment. Today Teresa Lisbon will get a bouquet of yellow and white tulips and possibly some chocolate no scratch that she'll get chocolate too, probably needs some right about now.

-Red Clown-

She was laying there in this stupid hospital bed again, the only good thing about this was that Jane wasn't in jail, now that she thought about it; she was still worried. Jane had a knack for getting in trouble and he being out there searching for the killer wasn't a good idea but having him be the one to watch over her wasn't the best option. Since he'd get himself kicked out of the hospital for annoying the staff and most likely her. She was glad that it was Cho who stayed with her. Cho was a good friend; they chatted about the case along with other things like sports, Rigsby and Ben along with Jane and the stunts he's pulled through the years, before settling into a comfortable silence. Now on day two with Cho she has stolen on of his books while he went to get food.

"Cho that was quick, you only left for two minutes are they going to bring the food to us?" she said, not lift her eyes from the book.

"What they don't bring you the food? How rude of them. I need to talk to the man in charge." Her eyes widen as she looked up to see Jane standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a basket of chocolate.

"Jane what are you doing here? I thought you were out searching?"

"I think its best we call off the search for now. I've looked through all my hunches and I can't find the guy."

"Seriously?!" she could really use that chocolate right about now. How could they not find the asshole that killed these poor women? He must have had a secret account or some type of birds nest hidden somewhere that allowed him to live the country with a fake ID. This just wasn't fair. Those women needed justice and god be damned they'd get it. She needed to get out this bed right now and help out in the investigation.

"Lisbon, stop. You need rest not to drive around California looking for a man who has already jumped and is probably in Mexico." Jane took handed her the basket of chocolate.

"Now eat the chocolate and relax." She couldn't help but relax at the sound of his voice. She hadn't seen him since he picked her up at the carnival… speaking of carnival.

"Hmm! I have to return the clothes Sam lent me before they leave." Jane's chuckle sounded like heaven to her ears. How she missed him.

"You don't care about the clothes. You just want to see Daisy again, admit it. You're in love with her."

"Am not, well maybe…yeah, I like Daisy!"

"I don't blame you. You didn't have to grow up with her."

"You grew up with her?"

"Yeah, she was born when I was ooh 10 years old. And let me tell you, she's only sweet to you because you smell like me."

"Does your ego know no bounds? Really Jane?"

"I know it's hard to believe but she just loves me, not you."

"You're just jealous, and you can't emit it. You didn't even visit with her the times you were around so I'm thinking she hates you."

"Does not"

"Does too"

"Boss, I brought food."

-Red Clown-

He couldn't help but smile wider as Cho walked into the room. It was good to banter with Lisbon, it always made him relax when she and him 'argued'. Jane leaned back into his chair as Cho put the tray down on the bed table. He was glad that Lisbon was on pain killers because he was pretty sure she'd see through his lies if she wasn't. Much do his displeasure she was actually able to read him as if he's a mark and frankly it scared him. It wasn't every day that a great con-man like himself was so easy to read, but then again they've been working together for so long that it was the only a matter of time.

He watched as she ate with one hand, the other arm was trapped in a sling.

"When are you discharged?"

"They'll let me go tomorrow, I'll be back to work on Monday."

"You sure that's a good idea boss?"

"Well I worked on the Timothy Carter case with you guys when I was injured like this, so I don't see why not." She had a point there, and he knew arguing with her about injuries was just a waste of time; she was just as stubborn as him.

"You know what Cho, you go and get some rest, I'll stay here with Lisbon. I still don't think we should leave her alone." it was a lame excuse to stay with Lisbon, but he'd take it. The thought of spending the rest of the day and night with her playing card games and showing her tricks while talking about life in general made him a warmth that he hadn't felt in a very long time, and he'd be stupid to not act on it. He knew Lisbon's feelings and was certain of his. Red John was still out there but this time he was stronger, smarter and Lisbon was the complete opposite on Angela, but above all…he had people to help him with the same goal in mind: Protect Lisbon.

-Red Clown-

AN: Yellow Tulips mean hopelessly in love cause let's face it Jane is in love with Lisbon and White Tulips mean forgiveness, cause he forgives Lisbon for being careless enough to get hurt and end up in the hospital and also he forgives her for making him worry.

As for the sports reference: we know that Lisbon follows the baseball league (season one) and she's also in to the National Football league (season three, wearing the Chicago bears when Jane wakes her up at the hotel.)

Yes this was a fluffy chapter in a way.

If there is any grammar and/or spelling mistakes please tell me!


	7. Chapter 7

Red Clown Seven

She had been worried when Cho left her with Jane at the hospital. Worried that Jane would either annoy her so much that she'd kick him out or that he'd annoy the everybody else until he gets himself kicked out.

But he didn't

The whole day they watched TV, or play some sort of card game (she always lost) and Jane even went as far as too entertain her with tricks. They had bantered and talked about anything and everything under the sun.

In fact it was a very pleasant day.

She didn't know it was the medication or what but she noticed Jane was being a little bit too sweet, he had a wistful look in his eyes when they were talking about weddings and wedding traditions; he even played with his wedding ring a few times throughout the day, just like he did almost a year ago when he lost his memory. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

She figured it was the pills that were messing with her.

That's why she wasn't surprised when she woke up late at night to a brooding Jane. He was wide awake sitting in the chair next to her bed, looking out the window but no actually looking at anything.

She did have to admit that Jane looked kinda funny brooding over a Styrofoam cup of tea instead of his usual blue tea cup.

She wondered what his was thinking about.

Was he thinking about Lorelei? How to find her, how to break her and make her talk about Red John? Maybe he was thinking of Red John himself and what he'd do once he got him. There was also the possibility that Jane was thinking of his family, of his wife and daughter; he had been playing with his ring a lot.

If he was thinking of the wedding ring, was he then thinking of that night with Lorelei? That was a very painful memory and she really didn't want to think about that… Jane really would do anything to get Red John… it was sad that the man she loved was sitting there, lost in his thoughts of revenge, and painful memories of his past.

-Red Clown-

Jane found himself thinking of Mr. Millen when Lisbon dozed off for the night. That man stole women who were sick and tortured them made them play in his sick fantasies before killing them. That man had hurt Lisbon; nearly killed her.

He had tortured and killed him for that.

And yet he didn't feel any guilt, didn't feel any remorse for what he had done to Mr. Millen. The only thing he felt was disappointment.

He didn't get to use the secret bunker to torture and kill Red John first. He had always planned to use that place for Red John. Fantasised doing the things he did to Mr. Millen he'd do to Red John, and thus why he disappointed.

He wasn't worried that Lisbon would find out about what he did. Yeah sure she'd try to find him when she got back to work, but he knew she'd give up after a few days, thinking that the man was in Mexico or something.

Oh he wanted to put her mind at ease, but it would have been too risky. Way to risky planting a part of Mr. Miller's body somewhere or telling her that he thought he was dead. Lisbon was too smart sometimes and he can only manipulate evidence so much before she found out.

He knew she wouldn't find out what he'd done, but that didn't mean he didn't have a 'what if'plan.

It wasn't a great one, but Jane was a master manipulator, he'd take Lisbon to the bunker, and either use his abilities to wipe her memories, to distort them or he'd break her…

He'd keep her there for days, months maybe a year until she gave up and purely trusted him. He'd be the one to feed her, bath her. He'd bring her gifts and pictures of her family and friends. He'd make sure to talk to her in a way that would make it seem like he's saving her, and when she finally believed him he'd let her go back to her life with a ring on her finger, and possibly a baby in her womb.

Of course he didn't like that plan very much. Erasing her memories…perfectly fine. Breaking her, he feared would kill the fire in her.

But it was a risk he was willing to take if shit hit the fan, which it wouldn't.

But this whole 'what if' wasn't the major issue. No it was the fact that he felt lighter after he killed Mr. Millen.

Felt as if he let go of something.

He didn't feel that way when he killed Hardy, nor when he killed Carter. Maybe it was because he wasn't in the right of mind when he killed them.

Hardy was killed to save Lisbon. He didn't even know what he was doing there, his body just reacted.

And with Carter he was much too emotional to think clearly, to realize it was a trap.

With Millen, he knew what he was doing and thought about it over and over again until he actually went through with it… Maybe it was because he used a gun the first two times.

But what's done is done, can't turn back time.

His actions were justified. That man deserved to die the way he did. No one hurts his Lisbon.

That didn't make him a monster…right?

-Red Clown-

**Again, if there is any spelling and/or grammar mistakes please let me know**.

Yeah no, I just can't write it. Sorry for those who wanted smut, Its not gonna happen. I have stared at it for months now and I can't get it done. Sorry.


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